Why Self-Awareness Leads to Overthinking (And Feels Like Pressure)

-
Image
Being self-aware is both a boon and a bane. It neither holds me back nor helps me grow faster. The more I know myself, the more my brain thinks. The self-aware spider makes a web of thoughts within the mind. Messy thoughts didn't just affect my words, they exhausted my energy, leaving me blank. Constantly thinking about improvement has become my pattern. Doing it continuously exposes my flaws and mistakes. And knowing the pattern makes it harder to ignore them. Whenever I think, my brain struggles between thoughts of flaws and improvement. Mental noise replaces clarity in this conflict. While writing blogs, clarity plays a significant role in giving words to the voice. But sometimes I fumble while writing words for my thoughts and learnings. I begin analysing in between more than expressing. I constantly look after the thoughts I write, ensuring they define my emotions and thoughts completely. Clarity struggles and turns into constant questioning. I remember a specific...
Post a Comment

When Self-Improvement Stops Feeling Like Success: The Hidden Pressure of Growth

-
I lose, I win every single day, but my expectations remain the same. What I am improving was once my win, but not now. Winning over flaws every single day didn't just remain my progress, it transformed into my belief. Improvement doesn't excite me; it feels normal, but what I expect from myself always excites me.

Progress doesn't feel like a surprise but a responsibility. Every enhancement is not out of the box anymore. It's quite normal when all days are out of the box. But not maintaining that would be a surprise for sure. Being imperfect while chasing perfection matures a person handling excellence.

Standards raised silently without actual realization. Once what was victory is now a trust which builds on this writing journey. The baseline shifted without me noticing. Stepping forward and adding something better every day is now a baseline which once was an aim.

I wrote in my previous blogs about reading previous blogs, searching for mistakes to avoid them further. But in actuality, I realized later that what I was seeing was not just improvement, but silently I was raising my bars, confidently trusting myself to be better every coming day.

I have developed a habit of expectations, knowing my limitations. Every day, whenever I start writing my blog, a strong trust pushes me to improve and win over my mistakes. But pressure always surpasses celebration. A fear of “what if not” haunts me, pushing me to trust my every small effort of being better.

Raising every day over flaws allows me to think beyond this. I started focusing more on what's missing in me that I could develop. Now it feels harder to focus on what I have developed as an identity; however, pressure is felt in maintaining it.

The more the journey is going, the more it is becoming quieter, not heavier. Expectations are not exceptions anymore; they decide my direction of growth.

Share your views in the comments.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why I Decided to Start Writing as a Beginner?

-
Image
As you could understand by the title only that I am trying blogging even without experience. Today only, I created my Blogger account for a single reason — the reason that many of us face nowadays, the inability to talk to anyone but wanting to talk out our views. Some say it’s an introvert kind of behaviour; I don’t think it’s introvert behaviour. In fact, I think it’s all about a person’s hesitation in talking to someone. I am the same kind of guy who doesn’t know how to convey himself to others. All I have is the hesitation of what if someone says something. Then I decided, why should I not write to express myself ? Writing is the only mode of communication I am comfortable with. Why starting felt scary? Starting to write is the most difficult part. All I was doing was thinking about what I would write and what if it doesn’t work out for me. There was a certain sort of confusion going on in my mind and a little bit of fear about whether I would write things well. The ma...
Read more

What hesitation taught me about starting something new?

-
Image
Yesterday, I wrote a blog about writing a blog without experience. While writing the blog, I was having a certain sort of confusion or hesitation, which is normal for me. But I thought it is a universal rule that whenever an individual starts something, he or she faces certain confusion or has a fear of judgment. A fear which can be considered the biggest problem an individual faces before starting something new. But I thought, what is there to fear? Whosoever judges me, just judge. Fear is normal, but overcoming that fear is not normal for everyone. I know my efforts will help me overcome that fear. I made that effort yesterday and wrote. It felt amazing after writing a blog. I felt that no judgment can break my will to write. Hesitation and fear can only be beaten by the key known as consistency — a word which is familiar to everyone, but not everyone follows. I was also a non-consistent person, but I thought, why don’t I become consistent if it helps in my growth? Why d...
Read more

How Daily Writing Is Improving My Focus and Clarity?

-
Image
Hi everyone, how are you all? Today’s topic is something that we all look for to do any sort of work. It’s something that is required even before the starting of any work, i.e., focus and clarity. Isn’t it, guys? Have you ever started your work without focus or clarity? I think no, because you can’t even think to start without these two. Guys, just tell me, do you like scattered things or well-mannered things? I think well-mannered will be the answer. So where does it come from? It comes from focus and clarity.  Earlier, I wrote about the thinking of thoughts or the web of thoughts that revolves in my mind for writing and not starting it; they all were scattered thoughts. But nowadays, I know what to write and how to write. That’s the work focus and clarity have done for me. I know from where to start, and I know what to write about my learnings and thoughts in the blog. The scattered thoughts got channelised into a single one, i.e., to start writing. Daily writing play...
Read more