I Erased My Entire Blog Post - And Felt Happy About It

Every day isn't the same. Every emotion isn't the same. But the will and commitment remain the same all the time. From being lazy to becoming better at something feels good. At least my grammar has improved. Whatever I experience, whatever I learn; I keep trying to share through blogs. But as every day has its own learning, blogs read differently every single day. Even experiencing the same moments again teaches new perspective every single time.

Change comes with difference. It's what defines growth and evolution. For the past few days everything has been feeling off. Every emotion feels awkward. My thoughts aren't fitting into words the way they used to. Every learning feels incomplete. I did experience the same months back. But this time it's different, either it's thoughts, learnings or whatever else.

But, I didn't quit. I didn't quit, no matter how incomplete things felt.

Today, I decided not to be the same as prior days. No more treating effort as optional - I'm owning it as a necessity. I decided to start from the beginning, today. All day, I was wondering why things have felt off for the past few days. My thoughts are different, and I'm even trying to improve - so why does it still feel off? Even when I feel numb with thoughts, I try to redefine my learnings - some days I yelled, other days I just sat silently.

An hour passed. Two hours passed. One more. But I was as blank as I was three hours before. No answers. Just calm.

Slowly, I got close to the hour when I usually start writing my blog. I thought not to think much and do whatever I decided at the start of the day. I started to write this blog. But the first few lines didn't feel much better. But I kept writing anyway.

I wrote up the whole blog and erased it. I didn't get angry - I was happy. Happy not publishing whatever incomplete I was writing. I felt the same emotion I felt writing my first blog. I realised whatever I had been feeling was a sign to start from the beginning again. Again with different notions and learnings. But, carrying forward everything I'd learned from all the changes before.

The biggest mistake isn't to start from the beginning. It's to start from the beginning without acknowledging previous learnings.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

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