Control vs. Commitment: What Two Hours of Blank Pages Taught Me

For the last two hours, I had been trying to write my blog. But I couldn't figure out where to start from. I had already written it twice before. But those blogs weren't something I'd call complete. I accepted the flaws. I try every day to fix every single mistake I've acknowledged. But I didn't try to fix them all instantly, as I know it would ruin my entire blog.

At that moment, I remembered what carries all my emotion into words. The thing that has been carrying my effort every single day. The commitment. The commitment to show up every single day doesn't even let me skip one.

Every day I end up writing my blog making some mistakes, some improvements. I end up experiencing wonderful moments that make both me and my writing better every single day.

Control and commitment aren't the same thing. Whenever I tried controlling, I ended up messing up my blog or thinking about quitting writing. Whenever I tried skipping a day, my commitment to express myself every day wouldn't let me. Control and commitment are incomplete without each other.

The day every notion I owned suddenly went blank, I felt like quitting. On one hand, my commitment to show up every day wasn't letting me shut the device. On the other hand, I was trying to control all the frustration so I wouldn't quit. I was trying to find a single thought to express. Finally, I ended up writing about the blankness itself.

Random thoughts are the best result of creativity and imagination. When they're completed, the experience becomes a memory. Random blankness tried to challenge me - I turned it into an opportunity to learn and improve.

Balance control and commitment, growth follows.

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