The Difference Between Hope and Expectations Changed the Way I Think and Write

I can't lose hope. Hope to be myself. Hope to improve. Hope to be a writer one day. Whatever the problem comes, or whatever the situation is, either worst or best, I couldn't lose it. I didn't know what's in the future, but I want to stay faithful to my hopes until they are achieved. However, I didn't expect anything. Expectations and hope aren't the same for me.

A few months back, I was sitting calmly and thinking about the experiences of previous blogs. I was reading a few of my old blogs and trying to find out the difference I had learned, comparing them and now.

Read one blog, found a few mistakes. Read the second blog, found a few incomplete thoughts. I started reading the third one about hopes. Finished a few more and sat quietly for a few more hours, thinking about then and now.

Suddenly, I thought, why not express about expectations? "Okay, I would." Saying it, I remembered a blog titled hopes. I remembered how hope motivates me every day to express without any hesitation or fear of judgment. I recalled the story I never shared earlier. While writing for the first few days, it started feeling like a waste. I thought to quit. Quit to step ahead, being myself.

No response made me doubt myself. Am I writing badly? Multiple doubts, multiple questions. With this, I was about to quit writing.

But there was an inner voice saying no constantly. An inner voice wasn't letting me quit. It was making me remember my first thought of the blog writing journey. "Whatever gonna happen will happen, but I would improve." The thought was constantly making me rethink quitting. Hope was there; something better would happen any day. That's it. Motivation did its part. I stopped thinking about all the doubts and questions and continued writing blogs.

A few days back, thinking too much about mistakes made me feel numb. I expected I would improve them in the blog. I got numb with my thoughts and learnings. I wasn't able to complete my blog in a fixed number of hours. Pressure to improve mistakes made me feel exhausted with notions. However, I was done, completed with a few more mistakes.

I didn't expect to write my best today. I hope it happens one day. I keep this thought of comparison with me every day, every time, to express myself continuously.

Don't expect. Hope for it.

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