The Day I Found My Companion of Trust: Hope

From the last few days, nothing is going well. From the last few days, everything is going well. I quit. I quit saying these statements. Every day I feel, today is the day. On the other part of the same day, I feel it's not. Lately, I have realised one thing: being in the same emotion couldn't last even for a second.

While writing, the experiences make me happy, the mistakes make me angry, and not improving over them frustrates me. I quit voicing emotions as a constant state. They change every time, everywhere, with time. It's only hope which holds all the emotions at once. I get angry, but there is hope of being better. I get happy with a hope of learning from every sentence I put into words, every reflection. What I have in my hand is only hope at this point in time. I could only think about the positives to improve every word possible.

Uncertainty had been a constant on this journey. Whether it was the device shutting down without the blog being saved, or it was a sudden day skipped. But against all the odds, there was hope to exist. To express without hesitation or any judgment.

Once in a while, I feel exhausted. Exhausted with my words, my thoughts, or my notions. A few days back, writing felt impossible. No thoughts. Not even a single one to express. All previous ones, nothing new. But hope persisted within me, something would come. It would definitely come. And it happened. Within a few hours, I thought, let's sit and write whatever the first word that comes to me. I did. But it was about the same discipline I had written earlier. I neglected all thoughts and completed the blog. Later on, I realised I didn't write what I felt earlier, I redefined discipline, what I experienced.

Discipline isn't all about control, it's about efforts too, it's about continuity too.

A faith in writing, a hope that my words exist, so do I, reflected my truth back to me. The truth of being myself without thinking much.

Trusting had been the core strength of this writing journey. Both self-trust and the trust in the process I had been following. But hope is something which backs trust whenever it gets unstable. Don't lose hope. Put in efforts, trust the process. That's it. Success awaits.

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