Not every day is perfect. Some days made me doubt myself. Some days felt lost in multiple thoughts. I had lived those moments being lost. I had lived every single day when I doubted myself. Why improve? What's the need to improve? Why take challenges? A few questions may sound normal, but they aren't. They are the ones which made me think for myself. Before writing blogs, life was going smoothly. No thoughts, no perspectives. Life wasn't fun. A boring and repetitive routine, consistently without a single challenge.
Laziness was the best comfort space I had. I wasn't sure if I had my own thoughts or if I just read and continued believing them. There was no usage of my words, my perspective, notions, and creativity in my own life. I wasn't aware of my voice. No mistakes were being acknowledged. Not a single activity to enhance and evolve. These thoughts forced me to think for myself. For me to think, having a dream to write, then why wasn't I working on it?
The first few days passed in confusion. How would I write? How would I start? What would I write? After almost a week, I realised I was just delaying. Delaying expressing myself, delaying stepping ahead for my dream.
With all the chaos, I started. I started my blog one day. A day when I decided to stop thinking so much. A day when I stepped forward with the thought that whatever will happen, would happen, but I would improve. Despite loving to write, I questioned what I had to improve about myself in the blog. Not because I doubted myself, but because I wanted writing to guide me to improve, to guide me to write better every day.
When I completed my first blog, I felt something had evolved. Evolved by not passing one more day being lazy, enjoying comfort.
The first day got over. I made a few mistakes but ignored them. I got prepared to show up on the second day. And I did. I made a few more mistakes but ignored them again. While writing on the third day, I observed a few flaws. I doubted that if I ignored them like earlier, I wouldn't improve. Doubt forced me to fix flaws before publishing. I erased all my thoughts and started from scratch again. I erased and wrote again and again till I got the best out of myself, improving over flaws. I did publish the blog.
Slowly, trying to express myself proved to be consistent effort from me to myself. Writing proved to be the mirror which reflected my flaws and strengths.
Story exists when you live through it.
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