Meaning doesn't exist, words do. Without them, meaning is useless. All things don't make sense all the time, but words have their own meaning. Sometimes I write the same words, but they don't have the same meaning at all. Emotions and feelings define the meaning of the words. This time, I didn't want to explain something- no lessons, no takeaways, just me and my words.
I do observe myself, but only when I write myself out. Thoughts come, I write, and I don't observe them much to understand their meaning. The more time I take, the more thoughts fly without becoming words in blogs. I didn't control my thoughts, didn't even force myself to think about meaningful incidents. It's just me, my experiences, my words, my improvement; everything flows through writing- not around me.
Silence has been my biggest supporter from the start. Every learning has been rooted in it. I made mistakes and became silent; I experienced moments and became silent, but when I understood, I didn't remain silent- I expressed myself. However, sometimes more of it has compelled me to redefine it.
Emptiness was a part of it and somehow it exists somewhere even now. But when I understood that to grow, I had to raise my standards. Knowing my limitations, I raised my bars, leaving that loud emptiness behind. I wrote what I had experienced, but I didn’t try to understand that moment.
Even calm thinking sometimes turns into chaos. Every thought isn't slow; they are instant. Thinking takes time, writing them out with trust gives confidence to think more creatively and be curious to learn, observe, and write. I let randomness exist without any control.
The freer my words are, the less hesitant I become while expressing them loudly. Everything doesn't always make sense, but their existence makes sense to many other notions. Everything need not be understood deeply; I stopped doing it more. Thoughts jump with my growth, so do my words.
Being in the flow of improvement, words enjoy more than me. Maybe meaning doesn’t exist- but words still stay.
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