The Strange Pattern I Found in My Self-Reflection

No matter what, the need of the hour remains the same for me- just observe. As much as I can, I try noticing each and every one of my views, words, and thoughts. Despite expressing myself through observations, I end up paying attention to even the smallest thought. My self-awareness started feeling familiar. I became aware of my repeating ways of reacting and reflecting.

I try improving every time by questioning myself. Even my introspection has been in a loop. Every day starts with a question, ends with a learning, and the same continues. Reflection no longer feels random. I began predicting my own realizations. Every web of thoughts and chaos feels quite familiar and comfortable.

A little while back, I was randomly going through some of my recent blogs. I didn't know I would be adding something new to the journey. I read them, I laughed, but I didn't neglect them. For the past few days, the blogs have revolved around my silence, whether it was before writing a blog, after it, or in between.

What I mentioned in the first one had its imprints on the second and third. The same topic made them uniquely predictable. My mind followed the same emotional cycle while writing them. I noticed I wasn't just repeating thoughts anymore, I was repeating the way I observed myself. The patterns were no longer in my thoughts but in my awareness itself.

I stopped being surprised by certain thoughts. No more thoughts- it’s just the patterns that keep evolving them every time. The same ones feel fresh and new whenever expressed through blogs. Some lessons come in different shapes of the same thoughts.

I started focusing on the way I reach the same page at the end of my blogs. Different experiences end up having similar conclusions. Views keep improving, but the thinking remains the same. Even growth has the same structure.

Self-awareness became something I could almost map. Almost, but not precisely.

Share your insights in the comments.