Why Self-Awareness Leads to Overthinking (And Feels Like Pressure)

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Being self-aware is both a boon and a bane. It neither holds me back nor helps me grow faster. The more I know myself, the more my brain thinks. The self-aware spider makes a web of thoughts within the mind. Messy thoughts didn't just affect my words, they exhausted my energy, leaving me blank. Constantly thinking about improvement has become my pattern. Doing it continuously exposes my flaws and mistakes. And knowing the pattern makes it harder to ignore them. Whenever I think, my brain struggles between thoughts of flaws and improvement. Mental noise replaces clarity in this conflict. While writing blogs, clarity plays a significant role in giving words to the voice. But sometimes I fumble while writing words for my thoughts and learnings. I begin analysing in between more than expressing. I constantly look after the thoughts I write, ensuring they define my emotions and thoughts completely. Clarity struggles and turns into constant questioning. I remember a specific...

When the Journey Stops Asking and Starts Demanding: How Discipline Replaces Motivation

With time, things change silently without even noticing. The journey which was full of questions now owns a part of me. The level of excitement rises when thoughts juggle and demand the best output. What I started as my choice takes my responsibility, being bold with my voice. Options turn out to be a necessity to grow while chasing perfection.

Mood and motivation didn't matter; the zeal to outperform every single day leads me on the path to chase growth. Despite starting with motivation, commitment was never an exception on this journey. Attentiveness to show up every single day didn't make me hesitate in expressing my voice. Showing up didn't remain an option anymore; it became an expectation.

I didn't miss a single day from the day I started writing my blog. But a constant fear of maintaining the streak pushes me to write out my learnings and experiences. However, a fear of “what if” always pressurises me to add more discipline to consistency.

While writing my blogs, I recall my journey as a movie preview. While remembering all those thoughts, an incident just got stuck and didn't let me enjoy my preview further. An incident when I was in a hurry to write a blog, and my mind was constantly distracted with odd thoughts. Thoughts to not express what I had experienced—it was just a day to skip. I literally forgot my exact time to start writing.

Suddenly, I felt something I had left, something within me trying to be free. Thinking about what I had forgotten reminded me of writing. Every passing second was a pressure to complete the day's blog. However, I completed writing and publishing a blog and maintained the streak.That day, I learned that discipline is complementary to consistency.

Now, the cost of giving up would be more than the cost of efforts I have been giving continuously. I had almost started writing from zero, not knowing about confidence, belief, small efforts, and wins. I have improved and owned them one by one every single day, and now they help me express my voice through words.

Pressure doesn't bother always; sometimes it adds value. It shapes me, enhancing my writing every single day. I'm not only controlling my efforts but my growth too.

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